MATCHMAKING
Success stories of three
women who found
Mr Right after being set up through a mutual person!
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“A mutual friend knew Tom was my Mr Right,”
says Sally Brown, 36. She and Tom Otley, 33, also a journalist,
were introduced by mutual friend Lisa Helmanis. They've been
together for two years and are married with a baby daughter,
Imogen.
SALLY
At 34, I'd been single for a few years after ending a long-term
relationship. I met a lot of men who seemed to have potential
but turned out to be completely unsuitable: a classic commitment
phobe, a compulsive liar and a guy who I'm sure will come
out in a few years time! I was fast turning into a stereotypical
single 30-something, working ridiculously long hours, drinking
far too much chardonnay and becoming overly attached to my
cat.
Lisa, a close friend, used to talk about her friend Tom, who
she'd met through work – but our paths never crossed.
Then one day she asked me if I'd meet him for a drink. I was
reluctant, as my expectations of all relationships by then
were pretty low. When we met I thought he was bright, funny
and easy to talk to – but physically not my type. Lisa
persuaded me to meet him again and this time she came along
too, so it was more relaxed. That night I thought, “He
really is very funny and nice,” but I still thought
it wouldn't go anywhere. I agreed to go on a third date to
let him down gently, but we ended up having such a good time
that by the end of the night, I was looking at him in a different
light.
Lisa had a strong instinct that we'd get on and she was right.
He wasn't my usual type, but it turned out he was exactly
what I needed to make me happy.
TOM
I'd been single for a couple of years and although I met a
lot of women, none were right – probably because I was
looking for a wife, not just another girlfriend. Lisa used
to talk about her friend Sally as this insightful, intelligent
and kind person. By coincidence, Sally also started working
in an office with a close friend of mine who raved abour her.
So when Lisa suggested I ask her out, I didn't hesitate.
I tried to find out all I could from Lisa, but it was still
a bit daunting when we set a date. I wasn't that nervous;
Lisa knew us both and was so certain we'd get along. Even
if nothing came of it, I thought we'd be friends. It was a
no-lose situation, although I couldn't have been known just
how wonderfully it would work out.
LISA
I have a real intuition about people – sometimes I feel
very strongly that two people will get on – which is
how I felt about Sally and Tom. Only then will I introduce
them; I never do it just for the hell of it. I look at baby
Imogen now and get a kick out of thinking, “I played
a part in making you.” Two other friends I introduced
are now married and I'm godmother to their two year old daughter.
Maybe picking the right men for my friends makes me feel better
about the fact that I'm awful at choosing them for myself!
Sarah Davidson, 39, a consultant, was introduced to Jeremy
Slaughter, 41, a clinical psychologist, via Mary Balfour's
dating agency. They were instantly attracted to each other
and married less than 18 months after their first meeting.
SARAH
I'd been single for around 10 years after ending a long-term
relationship, but I found it difficult to meet nice men. I'm
not a party person and I tend to have one-to-one friendships
rather than mixing in a big group. A good friend suggested
joining an agency and I thought, “Why not”.
After an indepth conversation with one to the matchmakers
and filling in a form answering questions such as, “Do
you enjoy the work you do?”, “what books have
you enjoyed reading recently?” and “who or what
would you choose to be in another life?” The agency
suggested several matches. I got to see my potential matches
answers and their photos before agreeing to meet.
I liked Jeremy's handwriting and the fact that he had a background
in both art history and psychology, as I do. He'd written
out what he wanted in his ideal woman and as I read it, I
thought, “That's me.” I also thought it was probably
a projection of what he was like himself, so I wanted to meet
him.
We met in a pub and I immediately liked what he was wearing
– a lovely, well-cut, pale blue suit, a dark blue shirt
and a purple tie. I thought he looked great. We started talking
and didn't stop for four hours – the amount we had in
common was wonderful, but also shocking. I had a strong sense
that this was going to be something serious. At the end of
the night, I said, “do you want to meet again?”
and he said, “yes, how about Saturday?” which
was only two days away.
We saw each other a lot and after only a few days, Jeremy
felt like a best friend – I could talk to him about
feelings, psychology and spirituality. I knew very early on
it was going to be a long-term relationship.
Then after nine months, we went on holiday to the Seychelles.
By the time we got back, I had decided I wanted to marry him.
But I had to wait another three months for him to propose.
I'm the sort of person who likes to jump in and take action,
so it was quite a big effort for me not to ask him. But I
could sense that I needed to wait until Jeremy was ready.
We were married within four months of his proposal and marriage
has been so great in many ways I wasn't expecting. Having
been an only child and then single for many years, it's amazing
for me to have someone there to share everything with.
JEREMY
I joined the agency because I wanted to meet someone and I
felt the chances of meeting the right women socially were
pretty remote. I always had such definite requirements and
felt slightly different from people I met at parties. I felt
that joining an agency narrowed the odds of meeting the right
person. They suggested I meet several women, but I rejected
anyone too keen on exercise or anyone who said they wanted
to go travelling!
I liked the sound of Sarah, as she had several significant
similarities to me and looked gorgeous in her photo –
very honest and open. Under interests, she said she just liked
“hanging out”, which appealed – she wasn't
pretending to be someone she wasn't by listing a lot of impressive
interests.
My initial impression was that she was a very self-possessed,
attractive person. Then we started talking and I thought “Wow!”
We really did want the same things out of life. I knew I wanted
to see her again and wrote in my diary later that night that
it was like being repeatedly struck by lightning.
Now, when I hold Sarah in bed, I think how precious she is
– precious because she has tremendous benevolence, goodwill
and kindness, which I love. When we married, I looked on it
as the start of a beautiful journey together – I'm not
sure where it will end up but I know it will be good.
MARY
I bought my dating agency in 1985. I was in adult education
at the time but looking for a career change. Running a dating
agency rather appealed, as I'm naturally nosy. I liked to
get involved in people's lives – whether it's fixing
them up with jobs, pets or partners! I suppose I'm a bit of
a control freak and like to think I can make everyone happy.
We offer a normal dating service, where people can pick out
their own dates, but we also offer a matchmaking option, where
we choose dates for clients. We have a team of matchmakers
who get to know the clients then pair up any strong matches.
I don't try to match people psychologically, as it is impossible
– instead I match them on social background, education,
job and values.
I thought Sarah and Jeremy would work because they both have
a strong interest in psychology, have similar backgrounds
and are both plain-speaking, open people. And I was proved
right.
Helen Thorp, 34, co owner of a complementary health centre,
was matched to Asi Panditharantna, 31, a civil servant, by
astrologer Liz Kennedy. They've been together a year.
HELEN
I hadn't had a serious relationship since my 20's, because
I was too busy setting up the business. When I got to 30 it
seemed that everyone had settled down and all the decent men
were taken. I kept meeting the wrong men and my relationships
never went anywhere. Then Liza, the astrologer at my health
centre, drew up my chart. I was quite cynical, but she told
me she had someone she wanted me to meet. She said we were
compatible in other ways, as well as astrologically (and that
we'd been together in another life!). I decided to meet him.
First impressions were that he was attractive and well-dressed,
but pretty quiet. But he soon warmed up a lot and we found
we had lots in common. His family is Sri Lankan, but in other
ways our backgrounds are similar. We also have the same values
and attitudes. At the end of the date, he suggested cooking
me dinner – I thought it was an unusual offer from a
man and it appealed!
We saw a lot of each other - we just really clicked and never
stopped talking. I also like the fact that he wasn't scared
to talk about commitment. The next step is living together,
but it's one we'll take when the time is right. Asi probably
isn't the type of man I'd normally chat to in a bar, so it's
great to get the opportunity to get to know him- he's such
a warm, lovely and genuine person.
ASI
I went to the clinic for a treatment, as I'm interested in
complementary therapy. I saw the astrological matchmaking
service and decided to give it a go, as I had been single
for a while. Friendship and compatibility in a relationship
are important and it's hard to find that chatting up girls
in a bar. In Sri Lanken culture it's common to use astrological
charts throughout your life – they're plotted at birth.
I went into it all semi-seriously, but also with a sense of
fun.
On an early date Helen and I went to an art gallery, just
walking and talking and it felt very relaxed and natural.
We discovered we have very similar family relationships and
both have a strong interest in complementary therapies. We're
taking one day at a time because it's easy to rush things
in a relationship, but it's been obvious from the start that
this is something special.
Helen is just such a loving person – she's open, warm
and very sensitive to other people's feelings. She always
makes me feel better if I've had a bad day.
LIZA
I've been working in astrology for 10 years and during that
time had done charts for couples in an ad-hoc way. Then I
started matching up couples and it developed by word of mouth.
Clients fill out a form telling me about themselves and the
type of person they're looking for, together with their date,
place and time of birth and I match them with potential partners.
By looking at two people's charts, I can assess how well people
will relate – and what the challenge of the relationship
might be.
Helen's Pluto crosses with Asi's Venus which means that they
have been together before in a past life. This is often a
good sign that two people are destined to meet again. There
is a link between their Mars and their moons, meaning that
they would be fertile together, another sign that two people
are well-matched.
I have a few more success stories, but no weddings yet! I
love my work. It's so fulfilling to match a couple successfully.
Related Article - 300
Creative Dates - By Oprah Expert
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