IS HE WORTHY OF A SECOND
DATE
And you thought getting him
to ask you out, then deciding what to wear was hard. Honey,
it's just the beginning...
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In
a perfect world, first dates would cause stomach-churning
butterflies and propel you into a dizzy euphoria, leaving
no doubt whether you wanted to see him again. Unfortunately,
most dates leave you more confused than lovestruck. Either
you like him but are concerned he's too good to be true, or
you have a nothing-special first impression but don't want
to turn him down prematurely in case he's a gem who needs
time to shine. All you really need to do to guage his boyfriend
potential is ask yourself four little questions...
DID HE ASK ABOUT YOU AND
YOUR LIFE?
Kudos to the guy who talks about something other than how
hot the waitress at the restaurant is, what time the footy
starts and how stressed he is at work – he's obviously
open to making room in his life for someone else.
There are two rules in dating that a guy should adhere to:
talk about himself, but not too much (no one loves someone
who's obsessed with themselves); and ask about the other person,
but not too much (no one loves a Spanish Inquisition). If
he begins every sentence with “I”, he may be self-centred.
Granted, you need to allow for nervousness, which for some
guys can manifest into all-about-him dribble, so test him:
tell him something interesting about yourself and see if he
digs deeper, or if he relates it back to when he...blah blah
blah.
Susie, 24, knew almost immediately she wasn't going to waste
another four hours of her life having dinner with Troy. “We
both worked in public relations and the day after our first
date, I was made redundant,” she says. “When he
called to ask me out again I told him what had happened. All
he said was 'damn that sucks.' Then he gushed about heading
to Melbourne on a business trip. I could tell right away he
wasn't exactly the sensitive type.”
DID YOU HAVE A “MOMENT”?
One of the best indications of a successful first date is
when you experience a “moment”, such as finishing
each other's sentence; speaking at the same time; or having
the same thoughts on, say, a perfect Sunday morning.
Sure, long-term compatibility is usually determined by discovering
you have common goals and values, but hearing his thoughts
on child rearing might be a little serious on the first date.
A “moment” on the other hand is an instant indication
of whether you're on the same page or not.
DOES HE GIVE YOU BUTTERFLIES
Think about how you felt when his arm brushed yours –
did it make your stomach flutter, or were you making a mental
note to put your handbag on the arm closest to him so he couldn't
hold your hand? Your gut reaction is one of the best ways
to determine how interested you are. If you like him, your
whole body will feel it.
“On my first date with Daniel, I felt a vibe between
us straightaway,” says Julia, 26. “We leant in
close over dinner and I was oblivious to everything around
me. I remember lifting my wine glass to my mouth and I could
feel myself shaking a little.”
ARE YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT
HIM?
It's like shopping: you try on a pair of shoes and they look
great but you ask yourself, “Are they exactly what I'm
looking for?” To determine if you really like the shoes,
you walk away and see if you're still thinking about them
a few days later. Same goes for dating: distance yourself
from him for a bit and see if he stays on your mind. If you
don't give him a second thought, it's not a great sign. After
all, if you wanted the shoes, you would've gone back as soon
as possible, right?
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- Bronwyn McCahon |