WILD FLING
There's no golden rule that says you should always be looking for
Mr Right. So seize the day – and the man!

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This guy could be Mr Right, I thought, as we bladed through the Sydney heat and humidity on our first date. He was cool. He was funny. He was Ken-doll handsome, part man, part boyish charm. When I spoke, he really listened, staring intently into my eyes with his baby blues. He made me feel smarter than Marie Curie and cuter than Cameron Diaz. Each time his arm brushed against mine, every nerve in my body did the wave. This was utter bliss. I was appreciating his superior leg muscles as we reached the crest of a hill when the topic of age cropped up.
“So,” [pant] “how” [pant] “old are you?” I asked. “Oh about 16 years older than you,” he replied. Not that theres anything wrong with that. But, as we glided downhill, other realisations quickly hit me like bugs on the windscreen of a speeding car: he was approaching his 40's and had never been married – which made me wonder, fairly or unfairly, if he was able to commit. He admitted that he thought my favourite band was a brand of margarine. He made loud groans as he sat down that were frightenly reminiscent of my father. We were having fun but, suddenly, he seemed... a lot less “right”.

So did I say, “Adios, amigo?” No, I dated him for five fun-filled months. When we parted, I cried a little and went on with my life. Why did I bother with him at all? Like many women, I didn't want to give in to the mind-set that says we should only date men whom our famous intuition predicts will stand beside us through marriage, a mortgage, motherhood and the menopause; that our motive is nabbing a husband and not, well, living.
The benefits of going out on the town with Mr Not Quite Right – self-esteem, self-awareness, the opportunity to collide socially with potential friends and future dates, another excuse to buy lipstick – can, for many women, be a better option than hoping and scoping for Mr Right. Plus, when the man of your dreams does come along, you'll be ready to react.
Check out these not-quite-right types and the emotional bonuses and knocks that come with each.

1.The Transitional Guy
Although getting back into the dating game can be daunting, consider the concept of the transitional guy. “My relationship with Sean had become so destructive that, in the end, I felt like I was no fun anymore,” says Lisa, 24. “I finally agreed to go on a date with a guy - and he loved my jokes!”
“If your last relationship was very negative, going straight into another one can be very healing,” says Dr Pamela Regan, professor of psychology. Why? As a relationship sours, you can end up feeling angry and undesirable, maybe without even realising it. By dating, you're exercising your right to feel attractive again.
The challenge...
This is a vulnerable time, so don't let your defences down. And don't mistake him for your hero. As great as this guy can be for your self-esteem – and for ushering you back into the cosy world of People Who Date – remember that it's a temporary fix. (This can be hard to keep in mind when you're gushing to yourself, “This guy is so much better than my ex!”) Regan's advice: “Don't expect this man to make amends for what the last one did. You can't expect one guy to suddenly make it all better.”
Saying goodbye...
Women tend to stay with the transitional man longer than they should. “There is often a self-blame that goes along with breaking up with yet another man,” says Regan. “Just think about all those people who stay in relationships because they don't have the courage to leave.”

2.The Nookie-Free Crush
“I didn't want to jump into bed with someone right after my break-up,” says Belinda, 26. “But I loved the banter I had with this cute guy at work, even though I knew he had a girlfriend. It was a total ego boost.” The no-nookie flirtatious friendship lets you really be yourself, says Regan. You get all the benefits of beginning a new relationship – friendship, flirtation and a swarm of butterflies in your stomach – without the “Uh-oh-it's-time-to-get-naked” angst.
The challenge...
Don't pretend sex isn't an issue. Harry and Sally remained friends for a decade, but dancing in the dark did trip their friendship up at one point and that's what usually happens. Make a decision in advance, when you're alone and clear headed, about what you would do if the issue of sex came up, and stick to it. You know what's likely to happen if you wait until you're feeling sexy.
Saying goodbye...
If you start going out with someone else, your flirtation will probably wane naturally. If you both overstep the boundaries and end up lip-locked, go with your gut feelings. Just remember that, once the deed is done, you can never go back to that old innocent flirtation.

3.The Trophy Date
“I had just seen him in a movie and there we were having dinner,” marvels Yvonne, 23, who went on a series of dates with a famous actor. “I adored his personality, but it was also fun hearing all my girlfriends squealing down the phone as though I'd just won lotto.” All we can say is, enjoy it while it lasts. According to Regan, trophy boyfriends usually end up being short-term relationships.
The challenge...
“No-one wants to date the understudy; we all want Aden Young,” points our Regan. But what if Aden Young were the understudy? Would you still be attracted to him? Make sure you're in this relationship because you enjoy and respect his personality. If it's mostly glitz, glamour and status that's keeping you around, be honest with yourself.
Saying goodbye...
“Powerful men have a charismatic energy that can be hard to ignore,” says sex expert Joan Irvine. “Be careful to keep the terms of the relationship straight in your mind so you don't fantasise your way into something that becomes hard to forget.” Yvonne kept her feet planted on the ground during her fling. “I refused to let myself imagine us going to movie premieres together. I knew he liked me because my life was quiet and calm.”

4.The Last Man On Earth
“I always used to date guy-next-door types until I thought 'What the hell' and went on a date with this out-there artist,” says Sabrina, 27. “He wasn't my type, but I wanted to check out his bohemian world.” According to Dr Regan, it's not unusual for women to date someone from a different social milieu in order to experiment in bed. It can create a unique type of confidence. “It's like saying, 'I'm in charge of who I am sexually and I'm willing to go out and get that experience'.”
The challenge...
Leaving yourself open to experimentation can also leave you open to miscommunication and increase the chances of getting hurt. Different people play by different rules. A thick skin and/or some very straightforward talk will help to make this relationship run more smoothly.
Saying goodbye...
The good news is that it's usually easier to exit a world that's different; just make sure you keep your lifestyle and friendships intact in the meantime. If the relationship was heavy on sexual experimentation, don't allow yourself to slip into feelings of regret. Focus on the positives, advises Regan. “For many women, casual relationships can serve as a reminder that they are still considered desirable by the opposite sex.”

5.The Holiday Romeo
“He literally carried me through these stone passageways in Venice, kissing me,” says Kim, 25. “I had just ended a relationship and worried about how it would be with someone new, but this sudden romance was the perfect antidote.” Holiday dating often gets a bad rap, evoking visions of sordid hook-ups at singles resorts, but it can be a positive experience. “There's often no-one who knows what you're usually like, so you can reinvent yourself,” says Regan.
The challenge...
This is a great time to expose a new side of your personality, but don't do something you'll later regret. As a barometer, ask yourself, “Is this fling something I'd be ashamed to tell my best friend about?”
Saying goodbye...
This relationship has a built-in time limit, but should you keep in touch with him after the fact? Regan says yes, if you're capable of keeping it casual and taking it slowly.

So what happens after you say goodbye? How can a women feel good about the dating daisy-chain? When I think back over my five months with Mr Older Rollerblader, I remember the things in our relationship that still enhance my life. Like the day I had a big job interview and he blasted the theme from Rocky and made me spar around the room with him, acting like my coach, yelling “Knock 'em dead!” as I headed off. Still would I want to marry a guy who referred to me as his “little grasshopper”? No way. But sometimes, the theme from Rocky starts playing in my head right before big meetings and interviews – and I just can't help but smile.

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- Leslie Yazel