Your man has been programmed genetically to face fear-inspiring predicaments head on, whether it's encountering a snake on a grassy path or investigating a loud noise in your apartment in the middle of the night. But there is one situation that turns even the most heroic he-man into a shivering coward: moving beyond casual dating into a serious romantic relationship. Don't get me wrong – underneath all of our oat-sowing rhetoric and player wannabe posturing, most of us can appreciate the benefits of being in love. He just has some legit concerns when it actually comes to becoming your boyfriend. The following are the ones that top his list and how you can help eradicate them.

BOYFRIEND PHOBIA 1.
You'll Clip His Wings
First and foremost, he's nervous that the second he has to start taking your wants/needs/opinions into account, he'll begin to feel like a first grader that has to ask permission to take a whiz. If your guy considers getting a motorcycle, for instance, you'll say the thought of his riding would frighten you to death. When he tries to arrange a camping trip with his buds, you'll undoubtedly have other plans for the two of you that weekend. Before long, he'll start dreaming about being one of those scruffy wild hyenas in a documentary on the Discovery Channel – they may eat rats, but at least they're free.

You can prove you're not hiding a choke collar behind your back by showing that you don't want to control him. Send the message that you're attached to your own freedom by telling your guy you need a girl's night out once a month. Tanner, 26, got a shock when his new girlfriend Melissa made it clear that she had no desire to be his Siamese twin. “One Sunday morning, she just hopped out of bed and announced that she was going to brunch with friends,” remembers Tanner, who was mildly annoyed – until he got recruited to play softball with the boys. “I realized that since she had a life of her own, she wasn't going to try to take over mine.”

BOYFRIEND PHOBIA 2.
He Won't Be A Good Boyfriend
When a girl falls in love, he's as eager to please as a newly adopted puppy. But deep down, he's terrified that he'll never be able to supply everything he thinks you want: romantic dinners, a shoulder to cry on, computer repairs, otherworldly orgasms. In his mind, the chances of succeeding at being an A-list boyfriend seem about as slim as his deciding to skip watching Monday Night Football with the guys to attend a poetry reading.

But you have the power to give him confidence that he won't bungle things. If a single red rose is romantic to you, realize that he won't figure it our for himself and drop a hint. Initiate a conversation with your friends about your favourite suitor gestures and let him listen in. (Yes, he's taking notes.) Don't be shy – suggest the restaurant you're dying to try. Once he masters these baby steps, he'll begin to take some initiative. The trick is then to go heavy on the praise when he gets it right and curb the criticism when he gets it wrong.

Twenty three year old David had never been in a long-term relationship before meeting his current girlfriend, Sarah. “I felt like being a good boyfriend was as hard as performing brain surgery with mittens on,” he explains. As their first anniversary approached, David began to sweat the responsibility of planning something that Sarah would think was special. Thankfully, she mentioned a few things she thought would be fun to do and David used those ideas as a starting point. “It was so much easier to pull the night off because I didn't feel like I was taking a total stab in the dark,” he says. Did you hear that sigh of relief?

BOYFRIEND PHOBIA 3.
His Life Will Be A Dish With Only One Flavour
If variety is the spice of life, isn't dating just one woman the equivalent of eating over-cooked cauliflower with no salt or pepper... every day? That's the kind of twisted logic the average male uses when faced with the prospect of becoming exclusive.

In my past relationships, sexual passion had about the same three month lifespan as a greenfly,” says Josh, 29. Luckily for him, his current girlfriend, Jessie, is a scoutmaster when it comes to keeping the sexual fires burning. Just about the time when that greenfly would have gasped it's last breath, Jessie took Josh on their first of many X-rated excursions. “One day she called me and gave me a street address and told me to meet her there at 7pm,” he recalls. “It turned out to be a sex shop. I couldn't believe it! We spent an hour in ther picking out new toys – and many hours later breaking them in.” All it took was a few more episodes like that and Josh's worries about sexual boredom disappeared.

Not that it's all about sex. To really blast the one-flavor phobia into oblivion, your guy needs to know that you can mix things up outside the bedroom too. Ever been to the batting cages together? Take him. Or surprise him with a rock-climbing adventure. Whatever you do, just show him that life with you will never morph into old-married-couple boredom.

BOYFRIEND PHOBIA 4.
You'll Change
Here's a tricky question for you: Two guys pick up their sweethearts' dry cleaning. One of them gets a big hug and a kiss and a gushy speech about how he's the nicest, most thoughtful guy ever. The other gets told to hang the clothes in the closet and keep quiet until the commercials come on. What's the difference between these two couples? About six months. The point: Your guy can't escape the fear of commiting to a dream girl and ending up with an unappreciative nag sometime down the road.

For Geoff, 27, the last straw in his relationship came when his girlfriend asked him to help her move. “She used to praise me for the littlest things and always returned the favour by making me dinner and doing all the dishes,” he recalls. “This time, I practically broke my back moving her stuff up two flights of stairs and I got zip! What the hell is up with that?” Needless to say, he's going to be a little gun-shy next time around.

And manners aren't the only thing he's afraid you'll let slide. No matter how much you love lingering in bed with him on lazy mornings, don't let your gym attendance lapse. (Read: Don't pack on the pounds for the sake of a little snuggle time.) Another example: Even if you're not a fan pf his favourite two-star restaurant, suck it up and suggest it once in a while, just like you did at the beginning of your love-fest. And for god's sake, don't start slacking on the back rubs. A girl who's willing to supply a rubdown six months into the relationship is a rare gem that he'd never, ever think of pawning.