Why Guys Dump the Girls They're Into
You thought things were fabulous... then he stopped calling.
Myatt Murphy explains this bizarre man-trait

Chances are, you've had at least one break up that left you wondering, “What the hell just happened?” He like you, you liked him and you felt destined for a fabulous future – at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed. So what went wrong? Sadly, maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons why guys end relationships. Warning: for the most part, it ain't pretty.

The Timing's Off
Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order – whether it's finishing university, owning a car, scoring a six-figure salary – or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guy speak for getting married), we finally realise it's time to have a relationship of our own.

But if you meet a guy before he hits that magical stage of life, he's liable to bolt – like Patrick, 28, who dumped Bridgett after two years, then got engaged to the next girl he dated after only 10 months. “When I was with Bridgett, all of my friends were single and I was still an intern with nothing going on in my career. So every time she'd bring up our future together, it felt like she was jumping ahead,” he says. “I didn't break up with her because she was wrong for me. I ended it because I didn't want to commit to anyone right then. But by the time I met Elizabeth, I was in a settling-down frame of mind.”

We're Not Finished Playing The Field
Men are natural-born one-uppers. If there's the remote possibility of upgrading what we already have for something better (that'll make our friends drool), bring it on! So we wind up always wondering if you're really as good as it gets. (I know, scumbag mentality.) “Whenever I meet a hot chick, I consider what it would be like to date her, even if I have a girlfriend at the time,” says Andy, 30.

In addition to our opportunistic tendencies, most guys feel compelled to put as many sexual conquests under their belts as possible. “I admit it – I know the exact number of girls I've slept with, no mental calculation required,” says Dan, 29. “And I'd never commit until I felt like I'd experienced enough sex with different women.”

A guy's definition of “enough” varies, so there's a chance he wrote you off purely because you didn't come further down his personal hit list. The moral of the story: until we grow up; mark everthing off our sexual check lists; or our friends convince us we can't do better than you, the flight risk is real.

We're Fixated On The Worst-Case Scenario
From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed, to those nights you eat an entire tub of cookies and cream ice cream without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental folder labelled Evidence She'll Change for The Worse. We flip through that file whenever we're trying to decide of we want to hang onto the relationship.

Blame our married friends who took the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go wrong down the road. Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll put on loads of weight, only want sex once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain things we're scared might be a sign of bad things to come. “I've seen it happen to many friends,” says Elliot, 29. “They say the sex takes a total nose dive after they get serious with a girl. So sometimes, even it the girl I'm dating is horny as, I'll freak out and bail.”

We're In Like, Not In Love
It's harsh but true – just because a guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it'll evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front. “I stayed with one woman for two years because the sex was great and she never pushed the issue, but I knew the minute I met her that she wasn't The One,” says David, 30.

So why do we invest time in a relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're able to live in the moment for a while and chalk it up to good experience. But once you show that you're way more into us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt. “I dated this girl for about a year, but as soon as she used the L-word, I had to end it,” recalls Jay, 29. “It was hard. I cared about her, but she deserved to be with someone who loved her as much as she loved me.”

We're Too Into You
It's not all bad news, though. Here's a hard-to-fess-up-to admission: guys are protective of their emotions. Translation: we're scared shitless of being hurt. So, it we start to feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you leave us, we might launch a pre-emptive strike and pull the plug first. For Gary, 27, showing his girlfriend of two years the exit felt like the only choice he had. “She was the first girl I was serious with, and I didn't like letting someone have that much power over me. I was starting to feel emotionally needy, which was uncomfortable for me,” he recalls. “So I ditched her to save myself!”

Sounds crazy, but cut us some slack. Think about how vulnerable and paranoid you feel when you're nuts about a guy, and realise that we go through the same thing with girls we really like. The thing is our friends aren't as good at helping us get over an ex as yours are, plus being openly heartbroken makes us look like wusses.

Nope, it's better to act like a winner before you turn us into a loser – which is when our natural self-preservation comes into play. Before the humiliation and pain sets in, ending the relationship seems a good option.